I spent a weekend at Brandon Hawk's YouTraining and after our first day - and a lot of crying - the thing that shook me to the core was this simple sentence: YOU ARE GREATER THAN YOUR RESULTS.
As it sunk in, my head started to spin. "But that's my identity. My results. What I've built. That's who I am. How can that be true?" The tears started to well up in my eyes as this truth hit me like a kiss from a fist. Owwwwwwwww………
How our results become our identity.
We live in a results-based culture that rewards or punishes us based on the results we provide. We are rewarded with money, love, praise, admiration and punished with rejection, isolation, judgement, ridicule. Growing up, the ONLY time we went to McDonald's as a kid, was when report cards came out and only if we got straight A's. Fast food was a very special reward as my parents cooked a meal every single night (which now as an adult I see as a major reward!) We never went "just because." I learned quickly that if I wanted to receive a reward - hot damn I better serve up some tangible results. I became addicted to my activities, to my growing list of accomplishments and the tremendous amount of output I can deliver.
As a little girl and to this day, I've been called a "high-achiever" - valuing hard work above all else. Lucky for me, I truly love what I do, and I truly love to work hard. Here's the rub: I can work hard, but can't base my value on the results of that hard work.
Well, what the hell else am I supposed to base it on?
Results are the proof, right? We lose weight as a result of working out, we make money as a result of selling more, we enjoy fresh strawberries as a result of tending a garden. Having results is what shows us that our hard work isn't for not. It's the tangible outcome of what we've invested in. But it's not who we are. Basing your worth on the results you achieve is such a small part of what we can give to the world. We don't build a business to create results, we build businesses to create an impact, to solve a problem - to make ourselves or others FEEL something. If we base our worth on the result of building a new house and a sinkhole swallows it up - does that mean we aren't worthy? Hell no! If our businesses fail, or thrive, does that mean you are a bad or good person? Again, Hell No!
We must uncouple these scenarios so that we can see the truth of our value - and that isn't tied to an outcome of a sales funnel. Or a diet. Or a partnership. Or an investment. Or a speaking gig.
Why we need to let it go.
Basing our self-love or self-worth on the results we create is futile and only creates an atmosphere of needing to achieve more, do more, give more, work more. Work all you like, be all you like, do all you like, achieve all you like - it's going to take A LOT to get me to stop working this hard, and that's ok as long as I know I am much, much greater than my results.
You are much greater than the body you've sculpted. You are much greater than the healthy balance sheet you've created. You are much greater than the ramen noodles you have to eat because you can barely make ends meet. You are much greater than the failed attempt at a relationship. Good or bad, right or wrong - you are much greater than the results you create.
Working with so many female entrepreneurs, the overriding theme I hear is "I want to give back" - and that's beautiful. That doesn't come from your results, that comes from your heart. KNOW that in the journey of creating your business, no matter what the result - YOU are greater.
I'm on this journey with you.